OR MAYBE NOT FOR LONG

REDEFINING MY LIFE
WHO I AM ...WHAT AM I....WHAT I SHOULD DO.......BE
WHERE I BELONG......LOTS OF QUESTIONS........
HOW TO GET THE CORRECT ANSWERS....CAN ONE DO THAT WITH OUT GOD?
VERY HARD...SAD....HURTFUL ....HARMFUL ...UNHEALTHY GUT WRENCHING HEARTBREAKING HELPLESS HOPELESS DRAINING ...SPIRIT BREAKING ....DIGNITY ROBBING....(I THINK THAT COMES CLOSE ENOUGH) ELEMENTS IN MY LIFE ....
I CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT...NOT CHANGE....PREVENT... STOP....CURE...AVOID( POINT MADE)
I DID NOT CAUSE ...CREATE ...THIS DARKNESS....I AM DROWNING IN IT ...SQUEEZING THE LIFE OUT OF ME I CARE ABOUT OTHERS HAPPINESS I LOVE .....BUT IT IS NOT ENOUGH..... IT IS STILL KILLING ME.....YES I HAVE GROWN...GOTTEN TOUGHER...MORE REALITY BIASED...EYES WIDE OPEN...MORE SUSPICIOUS...LESS TRUSTING....I NEEDED A ....LITTLE OF THAT BUT...NOT ENOUGH TO DESTROY THE BEST OF ME...I AM GROWING OLD I DO NOT WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS....I LIKE ME... I LIKE MYSELF ,WHAT I AM... ME I AM QUITE GOOD AT BEING ME... MY REAL TRUE SELF...I CAN NO LONGER TURN MY FACE ON TAKING CARE OF ME LETTING MY SELF SHINE HIDING BEING SO VERY ALONE WITH THE TRUTH...I CAN FLY ............WHERE TO GO FROM MADNESS I SO LOVE PEACE... THE QUIET BEAUTY I SEE....ALL AROUND I MAKE BEAUTY IT IS MY "WALK" I AM BEING CRIPPLED BY PAIN STARVED WHICH WAY IS OUT?
IS IN SIDE ME.......... OR ME OUT SIDE?......... NEXT STEP?

still here!

JUST GONA KEEP " MAKING LEMONADE "

AS IN A HOUSE......DOORS

MANY ROOMS......

ONE DOOR 

INSIDE LOOKING OUT/OUTSIDE LOOKING IN?

Re-hinge the door!!!
It's on the wrong side.
Search for VALIDATION....
A True mirror.
permission for self to Dance...
My own steps.
RE-Member!!!
As I look through the frame...WOW!
There is a Lot of damage out there.
Searching for a roll model,
send songs to a higher listener...........PLEASE!!
No! Not a Door too small to out.
.......is ....it.....i ,myself with key?
~~~D'Joy~~~